I’m an unabashed fan of Bill Simmons. Ever since his Spelling Bee article I’ve been a steady fan, and with other golden articles like the Anchorman-NBA parallels, he’s become one of my favorite writers.
Simmons’ latest NFL Week 2 Predictions article was a pretty disjointed ramble (he even admits it to start), but there was a little gem in the Sports Gal’s Rant (Simmons’ wife writes a weekly entry during the NFL season):
Bill has a rare talent for illuminating issues that are sitting right there, only the average person never notices them. For example, Bill hates “The Hills” and thinks it’s scripted, but somehow ends up around the TV every time I’m watching it. Last week, I (we) was (were) watching the episode where LC and Audrina were arguing about their deteriorating relationship. So the Illuminator says, “The real problem here is that both of them are pursuers and not pursuees.”
Of course, he stole the pursuer/pursuee theory from me, but he was right. I have always said that female friends are “pursuers” or “pursuees.” I am a “pursuee.” You have to pursue me to be my friend. I don’t like planning things or calling people, I’m bad at returning e-mails and will absolutely let four months pass without you hearing from me. That’s why I usually stay in touch with “pursuers.” They are the ones who like to plan everything and be in charge. Pursuers plan Vegas weekends or baby showers; pursuees just show up. The problem is that two pursuees can’t be friends because neither of them ever calls the other one! Like, Bill always gets mad that I don’t hang out more with my friend Lynette (we both love music and we’re both easy-going), but she’s even harder to chase down than I am. I wish there was a Web service (pursuer.com?) that could organize lunches and buy concert tickets for us. Then I’d see her more!
The rant goes on a bit more, but the jist of it is there. Anyway, it got me thinking — am I a pursuer or a pursuee?
I think I was more of a pursuer when I was in high school — I took all those AP classes, set up SAT schooling myself and took on extra-curriculars because I could. Junior year was class from 6:15am-5pm (Newspaper, 5 AP’s and precalc, and Culinary Arts), SAT schooling on weekends, and KIWIN’s in whatever time I had free.
College? Not so much. Lazied out. Smoked too much, probably.
I’ve also acted like a pursuee in relationships.
Nowadays, I’m getting back into a pursuer groove, in certain areas. I’ve been picking up a lot of hobbies and reading and music, and also at work I’ve taken up more authority. I’ve been planning more get-togethers and going-outs with friends.
Sometimes I’d feel like I was the only one planning and acting gung-ho about arranging trips… like I was the only one interested in going and everybody would just tag along. But I’ll chalk that up to pursuees now. I don’t like pushing people to do things, but if in the end they don’t mind and plans come through, maybe it’s for the better?
I’ve begun to realize progress comes in slow and steady chunks (learned that from working out consistently), and also in being very selective on what to pursue (picked that up from DJing). Not trying hard and stopping when results don’t come. Not settling for mediocrity.
We’ll see where this takes me.
Editor’s Note: What a horribly written post. I need to re-read a couple chapters in On Writing Well…